We recognize that faculty, staff, students and all members of the Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College community aim to foster a warm, inclusive environment for one another. Given that our campus values respect, integrity, support, and equity (RISE), it’s crucial to consider how we can cultivate a welcoming and respectful atmosphere for everyone.
A key aspect of fostering such an environment is understanding the significance of using appropriate and affirming language when addressing others. One common way individuals may inadvertently exclude others is by failing to use the correct pronouns. In English, we often refer to individuals not by their names but by pronouns such as "he,” "she,” and “they,” among others.
To support those interested in understanding pronouns and their significance, the following section provides Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about pronouns, along with links to external resources for further context and information.
Using someone’s pronouns is akin to respecting their identity, much like using their preferred name. While one might not give much thought to their own name, many individuals take pride in it. Some may prefer their first name over their middle name or vice versa, while others might opt for a nickname or a derivative of their name.
Honoring how individuals wish to be addressed is a way of honoring their identity. This is why recognizing a student’s “preferred” or, more accurately, lived name (as opposed to their deadname or legal name at birth) is crucial.
Similarly, using the pronouns with which someone identifies validates their sense of self-worth and visibility. Society has conditioned us to make assumptions about gender based on appearance, often leading to harmful stereotypes.
Taking the time to learn and use someone's pronouns is a small yet impactful gesture that fosters inclusivity.
- Helpful Resource: Why Pronouns Matter For Trans People
- Helpful Resource: Pronouns Matter
There’s a rich diversity of pronouns beyond the binary options of "He/Him/His" and "She/Her/Hers" that many are familiar with. These pronouns have diverse origins, with some revived from Old English, others coined in literary works, and some borrowed from other languages.
One such pronoun that often confounds people is the singular 'They'. Despite being taught that 'They' solely refers to groups of people, it’s actually widely accepted as a singular pronoun. A simple example is asking in a crowded room, "Did anyone lose their umbrella?".
Neopronouns represent a newer category of pronouns used in place of “she,” “he,” or “they” for individuals. Examples include xe/xem/xyr, ze/hir/hirs, and ey/em/eir. While neopronouns can be used by anyone, they’re predominantly used by transgender, non-binary, and/or gender-nonconforming individuals.
- Helpful Resource: Merriam-Webster Dictionary – Singular ‘They’
- Helpful Resource: It’s OK To Use “They” To Describe One Person: Here’s Why
- Helpful Resource: What Are Pronouns With Which People Identify?
Absolutely! In fact, normalizing the practice of asking for someone's pronouns demonstrates thoughtfulness towards their lived experiences. Many individuals may have never considered their pronouns and might feel uncertain when asked; this is perfectly fine! It presents an opportunity to discuss the importance of pronouns and why they matter.
The best approach is to simply ask, "What pronouns do you use?" or "What are your pronouns?". If someone’s pronouns are unknown, it’s generally acceptable to use 'They/Them/Theirs'. Alternatively, using their name is always a safe option. For instance, "As Chris mentioned...", "When I spoke with Heidi...", or "Did you know Alex’s favorite band is...?"
- Helpful Resource: Using and Asking for Pronouns
Mistakes happen. Throughout our lives, we’ve been conditioned to perceive gender in binary terms, often leading to inadvertent misgendering. Feeling embarrassed or confused is natural, but the key is to acknowledge the mistake and move forward. There’s no need for elaborate apologies; a simple "I'm sorry, they..." suffices.
If one realizes they’ve consistently misgendered someone, reaching out to acknowledge the mistake and apologizing is a proactive step. For instance, "I apologize for using the wrong pronouns. I understand you use "she/her" pronouns, and I’ll ensure to correct my mistake."
It’s important to recognize that individuals may respond differently to being misgendered; some may brush it off, while others may feel upset. Regardless, sincerity in addressing the issue fosters understanding and maintains relationships.
Practice using gender-neutral pronouns such as “they” and “ze,” visualizing the individuals they represent.
When addressing groups or individuals whose pronouns are unknown, opt for gender-neutral language such as “siblings,” “third graders,” “students,” “friends,” “folks,” “all,” or “y’all,” avoiding gendered terms like “brothers and sisters,” “guys,” “ladies,” “ma’am,” or “sir.”
Use descriptive language when gender, pronouns, or names are unknown. For example, “Can you give this paper to the person across the room with the white t-shirt and short brown hair?”
- APA Style Guide (American Psychological Association)
- Glossary of LGBTQ+ Terms (University of California at Davis LGBTQIA Resource Center)
- Gender Pronouns (Trans Student Educational Resources)
- Neopronouns Explained (UNCG Office of Intercultural Engagement)
Note: Instances of the singular 'They' have been bolded and underlined throughout this page to illustrate its common usage. We hope this serves as a tool to showcase how prevalent the singular 'They' has become.
This adaptation is based on materials from The Office of Intercultural Engagement at UNC Greensboro and Henderson Springs LGBTQ+ Center at Appalachian State University.